And the reviews just keep getting better!
"This book tis one of the best amalgamations of quality information ever amassed by a common man. Do tell me, is Rhianna still single? I'm asking for a friend."
-Thomas Jefferson
Why should you purchase the Toaster Oven Mocks Me?
Here's six great reasons:
Rectangular
Makes a handy doorstop.
Low-Cost Entertainment
Cheaper than a movie and your shoes don’t get sticky. Usually.
Relaxation
Better than sleeping pills. You’ll be out by page six. And probably bleeding from the ears as well.
Safety
Paperback version can be used as a flotation device.
Self-confidence
Read about me and instantly feel better about yourself!
Softness
Way better than than ordinary, one-ply toilet paper.
Reader Feedback
More great reviews coming in...
I only know three things for sure…Steve writes great books, you can never have enough lobster, and they’ll never find Mr. Howell’s body.
Skipper, 3-Hour Tours, Inc.
I just read one of Steve’s books and I believe one of my philosophical propositions holds true here – I suck, therefore I am.
Philosopher
This guy is whack! We’re talking like 40 whacks!
Homemaker
I created movable type so you could write this crap?
Publisher
About Steve
Yeah, I know. You’ve read one sentence and you’re already bored. Join the club. I wrote this page at 3 AM in a Taco Bell parking lot.
Steve Margolis
You probably reached my website by accident. No problem. Just go back to Google and type “Tina Fey” into the SEARCH box and you’ll be whisked away to someone with talent.
Still here? OK. Here’s all you need to know about my writing career: With no actual talent to fall back on, I was left with two career choices- becoming a writer or becoming a porn star.
I knew either way people were going to be disappointed. Ultimately, I chose writing because I needed a vocation that would last longer than 5 minutes.
Introducing The Timelink Series
The job title “theoretical physicist” conjures up images of old men, disheveled hair, and brown orthopedic shoes. Professor Steve West though, is different. With his cinematic good looks, genius IQ, and obsession with history, it’s easy to understand why the federal government chose him to lead their top-secret time travel project, which for some unknown reason boasts a four-star review on Yelp.
But a fanatic will soon alter the space-time continuum, and change the history of a nation forever. A villain so self-centered that he writes checks in the supermarket and wears white after Labor Day. Now, it’s up to Steve West and his team to track this villain down, bring him to justice, and restore temporal equilibrium, all before the breakfast burritos kick in. Can they pull it off?
