Writing-wise, I fell off the wagon pretty early in 2018. I didn’t finish book 2 of my time-travel trilogy, I stopped writing my blogs for this site, and I never got around to expanding my Toaster Oven book.
And I paid for my idleness.
My fan mail dried up, my website traffic fell off, Caitlyn Jenner stopped calling, and my book readership took a nasty hit.
Now don’t get me wrong, my Toaster Oven book is still doing really well, and I’ve heard that several college courses are using it as part of their curricula, but I could have done better.
Well, in 2019, I will hop back on the proverbial horse and try again.
So, if autoerotic asphyxiation is to be your high-point in 2019, now you have a second alternative- you can visit my site. No belt or hooks required!
I hope everyone has a very happy 2019!
And as is the tradition, here are my New Year’s resolutions:
- Help North Korea with their Rose Parade float
- Wear fewer track suits
- Kill your friends and family to remind you of my love
- Increase crystal meth production by 50%
- Follow joggers around in my car blasting Eye of the Tiger
- Stop peeing on the rug
- Get my La La Land Part 2 script into the hands of Quentin Tarantino
- Beat the Kobayashi Maru
- Test my car’s crumple zones
- Make sure the fix is in for the 2019 Puppy Bowl