Meanwhile in Kentucky, a county clerk is sitting in jail for refusing to issue marriage licenses to gay couples.

Kim Davis, a born-again Apostolic Christian has decided that handing out marriage licenses to gay couples would go against the word of God. In fact, when asked under whose authority she was refusing to hand out licenses, she said “Under God’s authority”.

I didn’t even know God was in Kentucky last week. I doubt He was. He probably dialed in remotely. It is Kentucky after all.

Does this behavior bother anyone else?

To me it’s wrong on EVERY level.

Let’s start with the simple fact that gay marriage is legal in the United States. For it or against it, it’s the law of the land. Just because you don’t like it, doesn’t mean you get to ignore it.

Ah, but Kim Davis did. At first she told everyone there were computer upgrades in progress and she couldn’t issue the licenses, but later admitted the truth- she didn’t want to provide licenses to gay couples.

Not that her computer cover story fooled me for a second. Computers? Kentucky? Come on. Maybe if she had blamed the office closure on the still needed fixin’ or the wood needed cordin’….

A judge finally did the right thing and tossed her ass in jail. She’s an elected official. She’s not doing her job. I’m guessing she probably swore an oath when she was hired- you know, swore an oath under God. The judge even gave her a second chance and told her to hand out the licenses, but she still refused.

I am impressed that she stood behind her convictions, even if they were a bit warped. I never thought she’d opt for jail. I figured she would have crumbled faster than the truth at a Donald Trump rally.

There are many things in my job I’m not fond of- sales meetings, paperwork, and naked pilgrim day, but if I want to work there, I need to tow the line. I need to follow their rules. In Kim Davis’ case, she needs to follow the rules and the laws of the United States. If she doesn’t like it, she needs to quit.

It’s nice that the governor is trying to figure out a way to keep her in her position without the need to violate her beliefs. On the other hand, he’s thinking of creating an executive order that would change all the forms in Kentucky so that they don’t require a clerk’s signature. For this one clerk, he’s going to change all the clerk-related laws in Kentucky. Well, of course. He wants to get re-elected.

In most states, they would have suspended her already. Louisiana would have made her a saint.

But probably the worst part of this entire saga is the fact that she’s a religious yahoo. When she refused to hand out licenses and cited her religious beliefs, the news outlets pounced on it and dove into her personal life.

And let’s just say she has a colorful background.

She’s on her fourth husband. Wasn’t there something about divorce in the Bible? I guess that’s water under the bridge. It doesn’t count since she’s been reborn.

Then there’s the twins born out of wedlock. Whoops. Better fall back on the old adage, “I am not perfect. No one is. But I am forgiven, and I love my Lord and must be obedient to Him and to the Word of God.”

That’s what she told reporters when they asked her if she was a hypocrite.

Her marital history is like one of those word problems from algebra:

Kim Davis gives birth to twins after divorcing her first husband. The kids were fathered by the third husband. The second husband adopts the kids fathered by the third husband. Given one boy is now 20 years old, who gets custody of the trailer after the tornado tosses it into Oklahoma?

Yikes!

I’m no expert, but from what I understand, Apostolic Christians interpret the Bible literally, which basically means you take everything in it as the word of God. You don’t get to pick and choose which verses you follow. You follow everything. To the letter.

And this is the most dangerous behavior of all. When people see things as black and white, with no wiggle room and no gray areas, that’s when the problems start. There’s no tolerance and no compromise. You end up with Kim Davis. Or Dick Cheney. Or Scrooge McDuck.

But I’m always here to help.

Kim, here’s a few suggestions to help you with your beliefs.

Seek forgiveness now. The outfit you were wearing during your Tuesday court appearance violates Leviticus 19:19: Do not wear clothing woven from two different kinds of thread.

And the way you treat people: Leviticus 19:15: “You are not to be unjust in deciding a case. You are not to show partiality to the poor or honor the great. Instead, decide the case of your neighbor with righteousness.”

Luckily her son Nathan is on the job, working with her at the clerk’s office.

While Kim was on vacation, her son also refused to hand out licenses to gay couples. His reasoning? The Christian law firm Liberty Counsel, advised him not to do so.

Do the words separation of church and state mean anything to him or his lawyers? Last time I looked, Kentucky was still a state. It’s even got electricity and indoor plumbing (I was shocked also). Do the right thing Kentucky!

**Sigh** Let’s be honest, the only reason we keep Kentucky around is bourbon, thoroughbred horses, and the Judds.

Written by stevemargolis

37 Comments

Euni Rose

Oh my goodness, goodness, goodness!! This is by far your best post ever! Can you hear the hyena? That’s your Southfield Michigan cousin laughing her head off!

Love,
Euni

Reply
Lindsay

Should have been fired already. If your religious beliefs prevent you from fulfilling your duties, you shouldn’t be in that position.

Reply
Aniket

The constitution does not contain the following words: God, Christ, Christianity, Christian, Jesus Christ, Lord, Commandments, New Testament, Old testament or Bible.

Reply
MikeL

Disagree with you here Steve. Definitely fire her, but jail time is a little overkill. She has demons. She is not a criminal.

Reply
Scott3W

Agree. This just proves it isn’t about love…….its about forced acceptance of the gay lifestyle. They could have easily gotten their license elsewhere.

Reply
Euni Rose

No, this is NOT an acceptance of the gay lifestyle. It is simply a matter of following the law. I am truly sick of right-wing Christians’ attempt at forcing the rest of us to follow their ways. There are many, many religious people whose beliefs do not allow them to work on the Sabbath. What do they do? They take a job where they can observe their Sabbath, without foisting their ideas on everyone else. We live in a country that has been SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE since 1776. Get used to it already!

Reply
CaptainBong

It is a big deal. It would be like you having to drive to the next county to get your hunting license.

Reply
Rob

She’s a friggin clerk. She has a job to do for her town. You shouldn’t have to drive to the next town to get a license.And if you do, that means she’s useless and should be fired.

Reply
Zedex

There is nothing worse than a sinner who has gotten religion! Who knows, maybe she will finally find true love in the gen pop! Take your toothbrush and Vaseline. :-0

Reply
Keri

So imagine a dry county suddenly allowing alcohol to be sold. Does the Muslim county clerk have the right to refuse to grant liquor licenses ? Would Kim Davis or her supporters speak out for this Muslim’s religious freedom? Would Liberty Counsel be rushing to represent this Muslim in court? No!

Reply
Nimbus

Yes. Poor little bigots. No longer able to discriminate against our gay brothers and sisters because marriage equality is the law of the land.

Reply
Nicole

I was sitting at Starbucks cracking up while reading this. The math problem also had me rolling.

Reply
Stewie11

She belongs in jail, but the problem is they marched her in front of the cameras, so the public sees the poor woman being persecuted for her religious beliefs. It makes her look like a martyr.

Well done fat man.

Reply
Jason79

Her type of “religion” is VERY close to radical Islam. They tell you how to dress and how to behave. And anyone else is a non believer.

Reply
TheRealSheldonCooper

I read that Kim Davis tried to crowd source on GoFundMe, but they refused her. It seems that the bakery that wouldn’t bake a cake for a gay wedding (remember that one?) made money on GOFundMe, so GoFundMe made a policy that states you can’t use their site if you are under arrest or in legal trouble.

“GoFundMe will not allow campaigns that benefit individuals or groups facing formal charges or claims of serious violations of the law.”

So Kim Davis can’t use them to help raise money for her defense.

Bazinga!

Reply
TheFrontline

Her lawyer said she used to be part of the “devil’s playground”, but was able to escape. What kind of playground is that? Are all the handballs flat and the monkey bars greased? She is simply someone who couldn’t get her life together but now thinks she is qualified to be a religious leader.

Reply
Anna

I love how the religious right backs her up and then complains about how religion is being undercut in this country. Undercut? Religion runs this country!

Reply

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