My wife subscribes to a website called Birchbox that carries beauty, grooming, and lifestyle products. She loves it. She usually waits on the curb for the mailman to deliver her package each month. It’s kinda funny to see her out there in a lawn chair, with a Starbucks in one hand and a cell phone in the other.

Sometimes these packages contain a free gift. After doing a YouTube-worthy happy dance, she carefully opens the box and examines each item- she wants to know where they’re manufactured and what country they came from. If there’s anything from China in there, it immediately ends up in the trash (although it doesn’t happen very often with Birchbox). Her logic works like this: she’s OK with an electronic device or the occasional t-shirt from China, but when it comes to the products she puts on her skin, that’s where she draws the line.

And I totally agree. Some of the things that people put on their skin are insane! And it’s not just the products from China. It’s products from the US too. It’s bad enough that a lot of these companies test on animals, but in the secretive Monsanto tradition, most cosmetic companies don’t have to divulge what goes into their perfumes or moisturizers. It’s top secret, like KFC’s 11 secret herbs and spices. They don’t have to disclose it. And some of these “ingredients” are downright scary.

Do you know what parabens are? They’re chemical compounds added to cosmetics to help preserve them and make them last longer. The problem is, when you rub them onto your skin, they quickly absorb into your bloodstream and act a lot like estrogen- meaning they mess with the reproductive system, especially in men. Parabens have even been linked to breast cancer and a sudden compulsion to watch Adam Sandler movies. And you’re rubbing this garbage into your skin.

Then there’s something called dibutyl phthalate (DPB). The name alone should scare the hell out of you. If you can’t spell it or pronounce it, it can’t be good for you. DBP was a familiar ingredient in nail polish for many years because it made nail polish less likely to crack and peel, but later, growing evidence linked it to genetic mutations and interference with hormone function. This kind of killed it for most companies, but a lot of polishes still contain it. I guess business is business. Screw the human race. Oddly, it’s still used in cosmetics because it helps enhance the fragrance. Nice huh? Oh, did I mention it messes with prostate function in men? Yeah. That’s an added bonus.

As an experiment, I tried cosmetics containing both of these compounds for 10 days. The lactation finally stopped last week.

Look, natural and organic is better. It really doesn’t matter what we’re discussing- food…cosmetics…boobs, genetically-altered or chemically-enhanced is bad for you. Period.

In the meantime, if you want natural, try this site: Naturally Betsy. You won’t find any chemicals there.


Written by stevemargolis



OMG, is this why I liked “Big Daddy” so much? I had some Adam Sandler disease?


Monsanto is the DEVIL!!!! It sounds like cosmetic companies aren’t much better! Models are going to start dropping dead like the bees do.


Since when do you do do commercials? Hmmm. Ok. I’ll look at the natural betsy site, but it better be worth it.


Dude, where have you been? We missed you. We missed the crap-fest! Nice to have you back!


Glad to see you posting again. I thought you fell into a black hole or something. Or maybe you were just ignoring us like Leonard likes to do. Bazinga! Great post. We all should read labels and ask questions.


Cool post. I didn’t know how many chemicals went in to my makeup and moisturizers. The hormone connection is awful.I will check out the Naturally-Betsy site and see what they have.

Blue Bear

I need something new to obsess about, so the timing of this blog is perfect. It’s important to have good choices about food and cosmetics, so I’ll take a look at Naturally Betsy. Being informed is powerful. My future self thanks you! 🙂


You’re back! I expected something really off the wall and not a PSA. That’s ok. You can do this once per year. Now you need to go back to the crap we all know and love.

Jessica G

Love your post and strongly agree. It’s too bad hiw misinformed we are about not only what we put in our body but also ON our body. Most don’t understand that anything you put in your skin, especially in areas like your armpits, goes directly into your blood stream! Naturally Betsy products include all natural deodorants and skin care with out all of those nasty chemicals! Awesome stuff!


Jessica G,
Have you used their products? How are they? I’m liking the Rub A Dub Scrub.


Ewww. This is going on my face? I buy a lot of products online and am very careful to get animal safe and all natural. I will look into this website. It seems like a down to earth shop.


Well Fatman I see you are back among the living. Apparently my hit squad was unsuccessful. I am hoping the next post will be less estrogen, more testosterone. Although I could use something to make my skin more soft and supple. I don’t want to end up like Meg.
P.S. Lois and Quagmire must die! Yes. Quagmire is on my list too now.


Wow. Something socially conscious? Am I on the right website? Where’s the clown porn?


Yes, you’re on the right website. 🙂
I have been busy with work and my book. I stopped posting for about 6 weeks, but I’m back.
Now you can look forward to the usual bad taste, bad puns, juvenile humor, and the occasional bit of brilliance (although that’s rare).
You can thank me later.


Scary scary scary. I know about the hormones in chicken, but this is even worse. I WILL check out the Natural Betsy site this morning. :-0


I have heard horror stories about what goes into food and cosmetics. I try to look at labels when I’m at the supermarket, but I’m not usually as careful at the mall. I will visit this site you recommended.


I’ve heard that some companies put cholesterol in their moisturizers. That’s a gross thought. I should probably stop licking my girlfriend before I end up with heart disease.


You are starting to look a lot like Fat bastard. Hehehe. I looked at the NaturallyBetsy web site and I will definitely order my wife something, but the site needs some work IMO. It is too home sweet home. It’s like they are based in Kentucky. The products look good, but the site needs to be a little more professional, unless that is what they are going for.


I have upgraded my website, thanks to your comment. Please check it out and let me know what you think. Still working on getting the pictures right.


Your wife is a smart woman. Natural is the way to go. I will check out the Naturally Betsy website. In the meantime, go to the gym. 🙂
By the way, I like your new website design!


I am amazed that we all live in to our eighties with all the crap we ingest and rub on our bodies. I wonder how long we would live if we didn’t? We would all probably live to 100.


I like to try things first. Are these products sold in stores? I am dying to try the peppermint rub a dub scrub.


I will check out their site. I love natural
Nice to see you posting again. I missed the morning laughs.


I’ve gotten quite a few comments and emails on this topic, so I asked my wife to try out some of the NaturallyBetsy products. After she gives them a thorough testing, I will let you know how they performed.

In the meantime, I will be helping Bill Clinton remove his Ashley Madison account(s). I’m a bit concerned about the web security.


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