The other day at work, my friend and I were talking about the fact that as middle aged men, women don’t flirt with us anymore.

It seems that women our age are either married or dead. And the younger girls don’t flirt with the old guys- unless it’s Johnny Depp or Bob Barker.

Things are a lot different today.

When I was younger, a girl might flirt with me by asking me to dance. Or if we were sitting at a bar, she might try the old “reach past me and brush me lightly” trick. Or she might simply vomit on me.

Now girls are a lot more bold. They have no problem making the first move and being direct.

Below are some of the current pick up lines that women are using.

I’ve ranked them by effectiveness.

———

“I’m not Rapunzel, but you can still pull my hair”

“I may not be Wilma Flintstone, but I can certainly make your bed rock.”

“I speak Klingon.”

“You remind me of my big toe because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my house.”

“Hey cutie, wanna go halfsies on a baby?”

“I have 206 bones in me. Want to make it 207?”

“I’m not wearing any socks, and I have the panties to match.”

“Is my vagina crying or are you just sexy?”

“Do these feel real to you?”

“That suit is very becoming on you. Then again, I would be too.”

“If I told you I worked for UPS, could I handle your package?”

“You know what would make your face look even better? If I sat on it.”

Written by stevemargolis

6 Comments

Katie19

LOL. OMG. These are too funny. The 206 bones one made me spit out my ice tea during lunch. :-0

Reply
DaphneL94

Absolutely. This was the funniest line ever. I’ll try it on my boyfriend even though I don’t need it.

Reply
Stewie11

Very funny fat man. You have done it again. Though I must say I am more of a Betty Rubble fan than a Wilma Flintstone fan. Rupert thinks Mr. Slate is the cat’s meow. I just don’t know him any more.

Reply
Atomic Samurai

I WISH a girl would come up to me with one of those lines. If she was dressed like Lt. Uhura I would marry her.

Reply

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