Net Neutrality

Net neutrality is in the news this week, and things are not looking good.

For those of you who have no clue what this is, or why it’s important, allow me to explain. <put’s on reading glasses>

Net neutrality basically states that everyone gets fair treatment on the internet in regard to speed and bandwidth. It doesn’t matter if you’re Google in San Francisco, or Bob’s Clownporn Palace and Grill in Hackensack – everyone gets fair access.

Ever since Al Gore invented the Internet, net neutrality has been a guiding principal. It’s not a federal law, just a recommendation. It basically makes the Internet the thriving entity that it is today and keeps away the bad things like censorship.

Who’d have thought being fair would be a good thing, huh?

But many large companies are tiring of this equality principal and want to do something about it. And when I say large companies, I’m talking about the companies that control the onramps to the Internet, like cell phone providers, local phone companies, and cable providers.

Most of these companies already charge users based on the speed of their internet, or the amount of data they download, or both. But so far, everyone pretty much gets equal time and access to the superhighway.

But what if one of these companies gets greedy?

I know, that would never happen in America, but let’s pretend.

What if AT&T decides that YouTube deserves a large piece of the AT&T network? Better yet, what if YouTube is WILLING TO PAY MORE for their larger piece of network?

Hello YouTube! Goodbye consumer!

It means we get less bandwidth and higher prices.

Luckily though, we have hundreds of politicians who are intelligent and on the cutting edge of science and engineering who can help us defeat this terrible prospect.

Uh…well, maybe one Senator.

The other 99? Well, at least they believe the world is round.

Believe it or not, there was time when the government actually funded science projects. I remember SETI (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence) was one of them.

The government spent millions of dollars to build radio towers in the desert so they could try to contact alien life forms 24 hours a day.

Yeah. We’re basically drunk-dialing the universe.

“Hi this is the earth. What do I look like? I have a slight equatorial bulge and my icecaps are receding, but I know how to party! Come visit me. And stay away from that Jupiter planet. You know that giant red mark? Herpes. Yep.”

Well the good news is, we might be ok with this net neutrality thing since the Bible doesn’t specifically prohibit network neutrality.


  1. Lindsay says:

    I never knew about this. It is kind of scary.

  2. Frootloops says:

    If we can’t get on the internet to visit these large bandwidth hogging companies, they aren’t going to sell much online. 🙄

    1. Redkitten says:

      Kind of like killing the golden goose, isn’t it? 💡

  3. DW3 says:

    I really hope the providers don’t cave. If they do, you won’t see any more innovations related to the internet.

  4. Stewie11 says:

    I must vote against this. Without the proper bandwidth, my plans to rule the world would come to an abrupt halt. Please let me know how I can help. Just give me their names, addresses, and a recent photo.
    P.S. Lois must die.

    1. Nicole says:

      First, I completely agree. Getting rid of net neutrality is like the supreme court saying a corporation is the same a s a person as far as campaign contributions go. We’re giving up way too many important things to the rich people and corporations

  5. TheRealSheldonCooper says:

    I must express my displeasure with the possibility of the internet no longer being a fertile area for creativity, research, and the occasional dragon quest. It is everyday people that are responsible for the growth and success of the Internet, not the large companies. Without us, these large companies would destroy themselves just like Skynet did. 👿

  6. MikeL says:

    It’s a rich man’s world!


Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.