Sales Wisdom #1

Having supported many salespeople over the years, I thought it might be fun to share their abundant wisdom and remarkable selling skills with my readers.

The following pearls of wisdom are from actual emails I received.

“This is much better than anything we have sold them in the past.”

“Usually if the rough draft is good, the final proposal is good, so we only want good rough drafts.”

“In the PowerPoint, I like that we hide the cost savings until the end, but can we show it to the client earlier?”

“No one cares what time it is outside of the US.”

“We need something really fantasy-like and creative, but it needs to be realistic.”

“We don’t need to tell them the truth unless they ask.”

“I have no problem presenting the second scenario, except that it makes me uncomfortable.”

“Can you remove everything that makes their office manager look stupid? It’s OK if the presentation runs short.”

“He doesn’t know anything about the product. He’s just here to close.”

“Let’s just take them out to lunch. They don’t really care what brand they buy. They just want free shit. Can you make the reservation for me?”

“I’ll wear my closing miniskirt.”

10 Comments

  1. Redkitten says:

    OMFG….i think i just wet myself. Absolutely hysterical! And so true! I have a closing miniskirt by the way 😈

  2. TooManyDogs says:

    That is pretty much what our salespeople are like too!

  3. It is amazing how many gutless businesspeople are out there. Most of them are afraid to make decisions on their own. That’s why things never seem to change in some companies.

    1. Mr. Happy says:

      The people in my office are afraid to take any chances. If Verizon came out with a better rate plan than AT&T , my company would stick with AT&T because AT&T is safe. Nobody gets fired by using AT&T. So what if we spend an extra $3200/month. πŸ™

    2. MikeT says:

      This is why America is not productive. Managers these days are drones who can’t think for themselves. They only do what they are told. Innovation is dead.

  4. Jason79 says:

    At my company, we are frequently told to not bring things up unless the customer specifically asks. We do not believe in full disclosure.

  5. Frootloops says:

    β€œCan you remove everything that makes their office manager look stupid? It’s ok if the presentation runs short.”

    Welcome to my world. πŸ˜› πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

  6. Aniket says:

    Everything is smoke and mirrors now. Salespeople do not even know their products anymore. Misdirection is the key. πŸ˜†

  7. TheRealSheldonCooper says:

    I couldn’t agree more. Customer service and knowledgeable salespeople are a thing of the past – much like Leonard’s theories and postulations. πŸ˜€

  8. Stewie11 says:

    I know there are a lot of really dumb people out there, but the dumb ones I meet are actually just lazy and not dumb. Welcome to the USA, man!

    BTW Fatman…………..you working on that book?………………….got a good protagonist?…………………….got some agreeable metaphors ?……….hmmmmm? πŸ˜›

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