Peter Parker became Spiderman after being bitten by a spider, but no such luck for Jamie Coots, the Pentecostal pastor from Kentucky who handled poisonous snakes as part of his weekly sermons.

Pastor Coots died this month after being bitten by a rattlesnake, probably while God was off in his screening room watching a double feature –Snakes On A Plane and The Ten Commandments.

Pastor Coots felt that he was anointed by God, and as such, would be protected even if he was bitten. The good pastor’s belief went as far as telling his parishioners that should he be chomped on by a snake, he would refuse treatment.

And so he did. After the snake bit him, he continued his sermon, then went home. When the paramedics arrived, he refused treatment telling the EMTs that God would take care of him. He died a few hours later.

He had already been bitten once and lost his middle finger, which I think was God’s way of saying “Hey pal, there’s a fine line between trusting in me and tempting me, so let me take your middle finger. Your middle finger, get it? Are you catching my drift here, snake-boy?”

Apparently, the pastor missed God’s rather well-executed metaphor.

Now I’m certainly no expert on God, but as a Christian, he should have known better than to tempt God for his own glory. I mean it’s ok to fleece your flock and take advantage of the poor and ignorant people that follow you, but don’t mess with the big cheese, the head honcho, the Almighty. He can be quite vengeful.

In some ways, I hate the guy for taking advantage of people, but on the other hand, you gotta love a guy who really stands behind his convictions. Whether or not he was a true believer, had a death wish, or was just plain loco, I must say he stuck to his guns.

Of course this steadfastness means leaving behind a wife, kids, and grandchildren.

Did Pastor Coots ever think about the fact that God allowed man to create antivenin, and maybe this was his true protection?

The good news is the pastor’s son has taken over the parish and will be performing the sermon today.

On a happy note, the snake is said to be doing fine and is being treated for a case of hillbilly ignorance. He is expected to survive.

Written by stevemargolis

15 Comments

Euni Rose

Laughable and horrifying all at once. Of course, we can be sure that the congregation will continue to follow the son, who will no doubt follow in his father’s footsteps…I don’t care about him. Like you, I don’t care if these two screwballs get bitten by snakes, I care about the poor ignorant folks who follow them.
Good job, Steve, cousin of mine!

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9th Element

It’s 2014 and Kentucky still has people who think its 1865. Snake handling. What’s next, seances and Ouija boards?

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TooManyDogs

I am always amazed at just how gullible people are. It should be obvious to all of Coot’s followers that he was a phoney, and eyt they will all get into line to follow his son.

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Julie

Religion is the wackiest invention ever. What does handling snakes have to do with your eternal soul? And i don’t think God ever commanded people to handle snakes.

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DW3

Th only snake I remember was with Adam and Eve. Maybe this guy should have been juggling apples instead of playing with snakes.

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