Bill of Frights

I was watching one of the new ghost hunter shows on cable and was shocked to hear one of the self proclaimed parapsychologists refer to ghosts as “the energy left over once we’re dead”. I’m sorry, the energy left over?

Einstein (Albert, not Sid) proclaimed that E=mc2.  I know from watching Sesame Street that matter is energy, and energy is matter. If you remember the 2008 movie, Jackass: Sesame Street Gone Wild, then you remember the scene where Grover torched Ernie and Bert’s apartment on Fire Island. Although the “flaming” jokes continued for years, this did in fact illustrate the law of conservation of energy, as the apartment was instantly transformed into carbon dioxide, heat, and soot.  When we die, it’s doubtful that there would be any energy left over. We’re not Chinese take-out.

So are ghosts real? Here’s my theory.

Think of your brain as a VCR. If I show you an apple, your eyes gather information about the apple, and pass it along to the visual cortex at the back of your brain. The visual cortex then cleans up the  information, and other parts of the brain process the remaining information, including storing the apple video clip deep inside your brain.

When you see that apple again, your brain flips through its internal video library, finds the apple and its associated information, and passes that info back to another part of the brain so that you “recognize” the apple.

Now, what if your brain was stressed? What if you had just lost a loved one, or were deathly afraid or scared? What if your brain somehow hiccupped and projected the video clip of the apple back to your optic nerve, which then processed it again? You would see the apple, even though the apple is not really there.  You would see a ghost.

I believe that ghosts are nothing more than a hallucination brought on by heavy emotional stress. So until Marilyn Monroe shows up for an ectoplasmic threesome, I’m sticking with my VCR theory.

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