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I only know three things for sure…Steve writes great books, you can never have enough lobster, and they’ll never find Mr. Howell’s body.

Jonas Grumby

Skipper, 3-Hour Tours, Inc.

I invented penicillin, and won a Nobel Prize in Medicine. But I gotta say, this website makes me chortle like a motherf***er!

Alexander Fleming

Microbiologist

This guy is whack! We’re talking like 40 whacks!

Lizzie Borden

Homemaker

I created movable type so you could write this crap?

Johannes Gutenberg

Publisher

Steve Margolis

Hello. Welcome to my bio.

Yeah, I know. You’ve read one sentence and you’re already bored. Join the club. I wrote this page at 3 AM in a Taco Bell parking lot. Outside of the bathroom, it’s where I do my best work.

I’m guessing you reached my website by accident. No problem. Nobody comes here of their own volition. Usually a visit here requires copious amounts of alcohol, class 5 pharmaceuticals, or some type of court-ordered restitution. Occasionally, malfunctioning Russian-bots will send users to my site. It’s all good.

If you don’t want to be here, simply go back to Google, and do a search for someone with talent, like JK Rowling or James Patterson.

Wow! Still here? You’re quite the glutton for punishment.

Ok then. Here’s a little about me: I’m old, fat, and marginally talented. And while this does qualify me, even entitle me, to my own sitcom on ABC, I have so far declined all offers.

Most of my lunch meetings with the movers and shakers in the entertainment industry have rarely progressed beyond the first course, and I’m usually left paying the check. Thank goodness for dollar-menus.

So, if you crave disappointment, you’ve come to the right place.

At stevemargolis.com, second-rate is a way of life.

Introducing The Timelink Series

The job title “theoretical physicist” conjures up images of old men, disheveled hair, and brown orthopedic shoes. Professor Steve West is different. With his cinematic good looks, genius IQ, and obsession with history, it’s easy to understand why the federal
government chose him to lead their top-secret time travel project, which for some unknown reason, boasts a four-star review on Yelp.

But the blissful bubble is about to burst, and trouble is on its way- a fanatic who will soon devastate the history of a nation. A man so
callous that he writes checks in the supermarket and wears white pants after Labor Day.

Now it’s up to Steve West and his team to realign history, bring
the bad guy to justice, and make it home, all before the
breakfast burritos kick in.

Can they pull it off?

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