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Steve Margolis

Hello. Welcome to my bio.

Yeah, I know. You’ve read one sentence and you’re already bored. Join the club. I wrote this page at 3 AM in a Taco Bell parking lot. Outside of the bathroom, it’s where I do my best work.

I’m guessing you reached my website by accident. I understand. Nobody comes here of their own volition. Usually, a visit here requires copious amounts of alcohol, class 5 pharmaceuticals, or some type of court-ordered restitution. It’s all good. I’ll take what I can get.

If you don’t want to be here, I highly recommend clicking back to Google and doing a search for someone with talent, like JK Rowling or James Patterson.

Wow! Still with me? You’re quite the glutton for punishment.

Ok then. Here’s a little bit about me.

Technically, I’m a boomer and didn’t even know it. Apparently, I caught the very last year for the cutoff. So in a word, I’m old. But in my defense, I don’t text in ALL CAPS, I rarely use a printer, and I stream everything.

I’m also in great shape, a little over six feet tall, 180 pounds, and I have a big dick. Wait, now that I think about it, people just call me a big dick. Hmmm. Well, scratch that last claim then. I’ll get a ruler and get back to you.

And finally, as should be painfully obvious by now, I have the sense of humor of a 12-year-old. No highbrow humor. No double entendre. Just good old-fashioned dick jokes. If you’re looking for the lowest common denominator, look no further.

And let’s be honest, if I wasn’t writing, with my personality and skill set, I’d probably be running for president.

Introducing The Timelink Series

The job title “theoretical physicist” conjures up images of old men, disheveled hair, and brown orthopedic shoes. Professor Steve West is different. With his cinematic good looks, genius IQ, and obsession with history, it’s easy to understand why the federal government chose him to lead their top-secret time travel project, which for some unknown reason, boasts a four-star review on Yelp.

So, grab your Kindle, kick back in a Taco Bell parking lot, and experience the literary equivalent of the Indiana Jones movies, but with less warmth, humor, and creativity.

Here’s just a sample….

In book one, a lovable psychopath devastates the history of our world. A man so heartless he still writes checks in the market and wears white pants after Labor Day.

But never fear, Steve West and his team are on the job. They’ll realign history, bring the bad guy to justice, and make it home, all before the breakfast burritos kick in.

In book two, Professor Steve West is back and this time he’s joined by his new girlfriend. She’s alluring, confident, and empowered. She’s also 150 years old. But never fear, the time travel team is on it! Rick, Samantha, and Alex are ready for action.

And with the help of Alice, a quantum supercomputer, they’ll repair the time continuum, watch the finale of Saturday Night Live, and pick up some much-needed, frequent flyer mileage. And all their plan requires is a comprehensive knowledge of string theory and a solid understanding of dog-speak.

The books are available now and operators are standing by.

Come on. You know you want to.