This weekend was my birthday, and I received a couple of Amazon gift cards.

I love Amazon.

There’s nothing better than sitting on your ass in front of the computer, ordering things, and having them delivered directly to your doorstep in two business days.

If every order came with a side of bacon, I’d never get out of my chair.

The one thing I don’t like is the stupid scratch off claim code on the back of every card.

You know what I’m talking about -the little patch of gray on the back of the gift card that you have to scratch off with a coin to see your claim code.

Ok.

So, I don’t have a trash can near me so I spread out a sheet of scratch paper on my desk and grab a commemorative coin. I open the first Amazon card package and begin scratching off the gray material.

Funny. It’s not coming off very easily. I rub faster. (Yes, I know. Insert joke here.)

Nothing’s happening.

So I figure, maybe the gray stuff they’re using now is thicker or something, so I switch the coin out for a good ol’ American quarter.

I scratch the box…nothing.

Ok. I don’t need this. I grab a second card, pull it out of the package, and try that one. Can’t get that one to work either.

Now I’m thinking I’m dead.

I must have died on Saturday from way too much birthday cake and black tar heroin, because obviously my ghostly hands are no longer able to scratch the gray area off the card.

I toss the card aside and put on my glasses. I’m going to get to the bottom of this.

That’s when I realized that Amazon must have heard the cries of all their customers who hated scratching, because they changed the gray area to make it easier.

Now you just peel off a gray sticker.

For shit’s sake! Why didn’t anyone tell me?

How about a warning label on the front of the gift card?

Something like “Now with easy pull and peel technology”.

Jeez!

You know, if I didn’t see this change,  that more than likely,  the whole state of Georgia probably returned their gift cards to Amazon as defective.

I think I need to pay more attention to what’s going on around me.

*** Trump couldn’t figure it out either and called for us to build a wall around Amazon.

Written by stevemargolis

3 Comments

TooManyDogs

I had the text reader on while I was driving. I almost crashed. This was hilarious.

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